Day 24

First of all... this happened.                                            Yesterday, at Target...

Me: Let's get Nugget this shark costume.
Adam: No.
Me: It's hilarious.
Adam: No, it's stupid and he will hate it.
Me: That's why it will be hilarious!
Adam: No, you're not getting the dog a costume.
Me: Fine.
*5 minutes later* While Adam was deciding which bones our dog would like best (see, he's just as bad), I saw this "Dog Rain Coat" that folds into a bag (conveniently small), and THIS idea came rushing into my head.  I shoved it in the cart under the laundry detergent, made sure it was hidden from him at the checkout, and Wallah!  My male dog became the Morton Salt girl. Adam tried to be mad when he found out I had hidden it from him, but he did, in fact, love it.  I mean, LOOK AT HIM.

Here is my "Costume"... I'm a:

1. Person who is about to go for a run or do some form of exercise.
2. Lululemon employee.
3. Someone who has the day off and couldn't be bothered with putting on actual clothes.

Take your pick.  It's like a Choose Your Own Adventure...
Happy Halloween!!!

Day 23

Welcome to Jacket Weekend.

It's still me in those glasses... not to be confused with Michael Jackson or Maverick.

And... that's still Nugget, not to be confused with Blanket or Goose. Respectively.

Day 22

Okay, I admit standing in front of a brick wall for a picture is stupid.  But we went out to dinner, and the huz' (that's what we're calling him now) reminded me that I hadn't taken a picture for the blog yet today.
I was all like, "Ugh... I'll just do it later."
And he was all, "Just stop here, I'll take your picture, you'll get it over with."  
And then I was all, "Fine."

So I guess that might be why this facial expression makes me feel like I need to get hit by a bus like Mean Girls' Regina George circa 2004.  Hey remember when Lindsay Lohan was a voluptuous red head and not a felon?

The moral of the story is, one must be in the mood to have their picture taken when having their picture taken, especially when one is in front of a brick wall. Also, maybe stop being such a bitch about taking a picture because it shows up on your face.

Day 21

My October horoscope said this about today: There's one more day to look forward to, for it is a MAJOR day that will link Jupiter in an ideal way to Pluto on October 28. It is a fantastic, transformative day, one of the best and most pivotal days of 2011. There is an axiom in astrology that says that when Jupiter and Pluto are together, the universe is spelling outstanding success. A friend may play a big part in making you happy on this day.

Uhh... kind of lackluster so far, October 28th.  Now I usually don't worry about the positions of Jupiter and Pluto, but "One of the best and most pivotal days of 2011"?!  My hopes are officially up. Today didn't suck, annnd there's still time, but if I go to bed tonight and October 28th is just a regular day... I'm swearing off horoscopes too. But then, I read the next part, which said: Alternatively, it may be your involvement with social media, or a group or club to which you belong, that helps you achieve something big. Somehow you will be able to make a bundle of money, and others around you will help you find your luck.

Is a blog a social media group?  Could we maybe start referring to it as a "club"? Because if that's the case, friends... you read the horoscope. Does anyone know Ellen? How about Oprah? Or maybe someone who could play me in a made for TV movie on lifetime?

Anyway, this is what I wore today. Still swearing off shopping, still saving money, and still not stimulating the economy... As for my dog, he's now resorted to just laying himself directly in front of me so he can be in the picture. Getting a little lazy, Nugget. Getting. A little. Lazy.

Day 20

Action shot.

Oh hey, camera timer.  Turns out you had one more snapshot in you, and I didn't realize it...  I'm sleep deprived and thought this picture was funny for like a second.  It no longer is, but it is the only one out of the bunch I didn't hate.

Let's pretend I picked it because it shows the true detail of my pants and sweater, and not because I hate how tired my face looks.

Wouldja look at that, it's Champagne Thursday.

Day 19

The following is a collection of conversations that took place this morning (Names have not been changed as I am not at all concerned about protecting the privacy of these individuals):

Via text
Me: For some reason, today I thought teal tights were a good choice.  They were not.  7:50am
Me: Hi there. Cassie. 12. (years of age) 7:53am
Molly: Hahaha it's fine Punky Brewster - you can rock it!! 7:54am

Via actual conversation:
Adam: You look like Peter Pan.
Me: YOU look like Peter Pan.
Adam: *shakes head*
Me: I love you.  Like a fat kid loves cake.
Also, like a fat kid.  I love fat kids.
Adam: You're ridiculous.
Me:  You're welcome.

Day 18

As I reflect on today's outfit the following things come to mind:

1. 6:00am workouts + showering at the yoga studio = not good for my hair on the styling front. 
2. Maybe consider smiling more.
3. No, it's fine.  You smile in your regular life, this is just a blog about outfits.  In addition, as previously discussed, this is a blog dammit, not a shrine of glamor shots.
4. There I go blending in with the door again.
5. Just keep swimming.

and finally....

     6.  Blog-tastic.  I don't know what that means.
          It just sounds conclusive.

Day 17

Every day I'm shuffling.

Day 16

Hey.

Remember me?
From Before?

Sometimes, on sweatpants Sunday's, kids don't like to show their faces.  Today is one of those days.

What's different about today though, is that I did not spend the day on my couch in sweatpants.  Instead, I started Bootcamp... got a lil' work out in this morning, so we'll just keep my head out of the picture where it belongs... Hey look, workout clothes!

Tomorrow, I will try to wear something a little more fashionable.  Be better, Cassie.

Day 15

I went shopping with some friends today, and...

I didn't buy anything.

You're welcome.

I did help pick out an outfit for someone else, which sort of filled a void.  Sort of.

On another note, my husband almost fell down a waterfall today.

That would have sucked.

Thankfully, he's still kickin' it.

Day 14

My dog is like a 13 year old girl with a camera phone.  He can't help it, he looks soo good he just has to have his picture taken.  He would take it himself if he could make a seductive pouty face with a snout or if he could simultaneously hold a phone and push a button with his paw; since he can't, he has to drop everything and come running when he sees a camera.  I think he wants to be "discovered" so he can get out of this one horse apartment. 

Since taking pictures every day is officially the thing I hate most about this blog (no wait, it's not shopping), I think I'll just start laying out my clothes next to him.

Nugget is to my outfits what Vanna is to the puzzles on Wheel of Fortune.

I guess that makes me Pat Sajak.

So, welcome to Nugget's new blog about not shopping.   He may be a camera whore, but in terms of swearing off shopping, he's a rock star... Mostly because he doesn't have a job, a bank account, or opposable thumbs. 

Day 13

<--- This came in the mail today.  Online shopping was one of the main reasons why I had quit shopping all together, so thank you, In Style for your ironically inconvenient "tricks to save big".   Just so you know, I was really good at shopping online.  I don't need you to tell me where the best online shopping is. I already know. Besides, you're just words, colorful ads, beauty tips, and style trends I love on glossy paper.  It's over between us (until fall of 2012 I get gift cards).

You smell delicious though, Natalie Portman. What is that?  

Oh. Miss Dior?

Eau de Parfum is not clothes.

 

Nugget approved outfit.

Day 12

Dear every stupid person I encountered today...

When Karma comes back to punch you all in the face I want to be there, just in case it needs help.

I would love more than anything to go shopping today.  13 days ago, I would have stopped at the mall on my way home and forgotten all about these dirty pirate hookers.  But I can't. So here I am blogging about it in a "Dear Diary" sort of fashion.  I've never kept a diary in my life.

Please send gift cards.
(The department store kind)

My apologies for this horrific picture of me and my dog's ass. I hate today too much to take another one.  I'm certain I'll regret that tomorrow.

Day 11

Let's get one thing straight.  I don't love pink.  And while I will admit to owning exactly 4 shirts that are pink, I do not condone the concept of pink as it pertains to "girls", specifically those under the age of 7.  I find excessive pink to be nauseating.

Don't get me wrong, a cute kid in pink is always cute.  I'm just saying, why aren't we teaching them the idea that, while pink is a perfectly acceptable color, there are so many other colors that look better with their skin tones.

Fashion early intervention, people.

If I ever find out I'm having a girl, I'll probably lie about it so as to eliminate an excess of pink (at least until she can decide for herself).

Day 10

So, this is what I wore today.  And this is how my face looks when Adam is telling me something I'm tuning out because I am completely uninterested in hearing it.  I can't remember what it was exactly...

"You'll look better if... something something, candid pictures... research poses...something something."

Listen, suddenly out of nowhere blog picture taking expert...  It's Monday.  I already miss the weekend, and we just so happen to have a camera with a timer that won't offer unsolicited advice before 8am.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate his honesty and occasionally even his advice...  just never before 8am. 

Day 9

Oh, hi.

It's Sunday and I'm not wearing sweatpants.  Look who got all "dressed up" to go to the grocery store. 

Cuz I'm keepin' it real. 

(Just so we're all on the same page, that was a Clueless reference... only I didn't just let some guy shave my head in the bathroom at a party, I simply put on jeans instead of sweatpants.)

In closing, I am wearing All Stars today.  Without permission.  From anyone. Thanks for playing.

Day 8

If I were a meteorologist, 92 years of age, or if I could not relate to you on any level so much so that I would need to make small talk... I would likely say something like, "Record breaking October heat today!", and immediately walk away.

I ran errands and attempted to cross things off my to-do-list.  Choosing an actual "outfit" was not an item on that list.  Truth be told, I spent most of the day wearing these cut off jean shorts and this t-shirt, but lucky for the people at Target, Michael's, and Best Buy... I threw on this scarf to cover up the bleach spots on my shirt and a pair of Tom's to appear slightly more put together.

On days like today, I secretly hope I won't run into Stacy and Clinton.  Is that weird?  I should probably have kept an eye out for anyone who may have been trying to capture "secret footage"...

Day 7

I was not-so-photogenic today as evidenced by this picture, but the other options were way worse.

Not much else to add, except that it is never, under any circumstance, okay for an educator to talk to a child over the age of two like he or she is a puppy.  I'm looking at you over dramatized baby voice users. People like you are one of the reasons why I love weekends.  Then again, maybe I should thank you because the only thing on my mind after work today was happy hour.  Not shopping.  Thank goodness for that.

Note: Talking to an actual baby, your puppy, or significant other in the manner described above is, however, sometimes acceptable. Unless you're in a public place, within an earshot of anyone who will judge you, or a Kardashian.

Day 6

Today I realized the following:

I am not a morning person, and "blogging" before work will definitely probably not happen.

The fact that I coordinate with my dog and his orange collar (also, denim) makes me feel like I just stepped off the pages of LL Bean.

I try to keep him out of pictures, but he continues to be an attention whore. 

Here.

Day 5

Today and I are not getting along.  We are in a fight.

I hit snooze 7 more times than I should have and my dog stepped in his own s@!#, so his need for a bath was more of a priority than taking a picture this morning.  Plus, clothes and I are fighting today too. If anyone came near me with a camera before 9am, I would have punched them.

Less than impressive outfit picture coming later.

Also, my apologies to the Land Rover I yelled at on my way to work.  I know you couldn't hear me, and I understand that you could not "go" because the light was red. I do however still feel very strongly about your excessive bumpers stickers.

7:48pm: Okay, here I am with poop-foot in today's outfit...

Day 4

So... about that whole being "required to wear professional attire" thing...

A) The original outfit I picked out for myself today made me feel like a Jockey (It involved boots and white pants).  Realizing that the "small person" complex from yesterday likely slipped into my subconscious and was quickly becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy, I figured it would be a good idea for me to change.  This ensemble is the result of a typical battle I have in the morning where I get sick of trying on clothes and decide to just be comfortable.

And 2) As part of my job, I spend most of my time in elementary schools where "professional" really just means no jeans.   Assessing preschoolers is another aspect.  Go ahead, try and crawl on the floor with a preschooler in a skirt, or even dress pants, and a shirt with a collar.  It's not fun for anyone.  Also, and this is important... I live in Colorado.  Professional really just means you leave your North Face fleece and running shoes at home.

Day 3

The blue wall is back...  The whole white shirt in front of a white door thing didn't look good, and almost prompted an outfit change this morning. My husband, because he was both annoyed and in a hurry, suggested I try the blue wall instead.

My initial response to this picture was, "Now I look like I'm 3 feet tall!"  To which he responded, "That's just how you look.  Are we done?"  So now I have a "small person" complex, and I wasted at least 5 seconds of my drive to work this morning wondering if I should make sure to avoid standing in front of anything white or blue when possible.  I don't own many white shirts, and I might be swearing off that color for a while too.  I do, however, still support polka dots.

Day 2

Sweatpants Sunday.  I have a lot of work to do today, and a whole lot of procrastinating (TV watching and excessive organizing) to do to avoid that work.  I'm not leaving the house unless it's on fire. Or if my dog gives me that look like, "Bitch, get your ass up off that couch and take me outside to pee.  How would you feel if you had to get my attention so I could tie a leash around your neck and take you outside before you could defecate?  Oh, now you're up? Yeah. I thought so. Also, woof."

I believe there is absolutely no need to waste a good outfit on your couch.  Usually Sweatpants Sunday means no make up, but I cleaned out my make up drawer today and needed to test some stuff out to decide if it was worth keeping. Turns out a lot of it wasn't. Why in the hell did I own white eye dust?

Day 1

Holy obnoxious blue wall batman.  It doesn't look that obnoxious in real life, but I may need to find a better picture spot.  Also, I'm going to need to work on that whole cheesy-ass smile thing.  This is a blog, dammit, not a shrine of glamor shots.  That's my dog, Nugget.  He likes to pose for the camera much more than I do.  Look at him, hip sitting just enough so you can tell he's got boy parts.  Slut.

Here's the first outfit.  Fall seems like a good place to start.  Soon everything will be lifeless and brown and it's starting to get colder, just like I'm anticipating of myself when this whole "swearing off shopping" thing really sinks in.  Kidding.  Kinda.